Comedy Corner: Indians Send Pavano to Minnesota for a Bucket of Balls
GM Mark Shapiro and the Cleveland Indians sent one of their only pitchers with a winning record, Carl Pavano, to the Minnesota Twins, a division opponent, for a bucket of balls. When Shapiro was questioned on the trade, the GM who traded Cliff Lee and Victor Martinez last month, Shapiro responded with, “Well, Victor took the last bucket to Boston so he could stash all of David Ortiz’s syringes to hide the evidence and Eric Wedge has been on steroids lately so all the balls when we take infield were going over the fence. At first, I was ok with Eric hitting it over the fence because he has been the only one doing it all year.” The Pavano trade was another questionable trade by Shapiro who dealt Cliff Lee and Ben Francisco to Philadelphia for a life long supply of cheesesteaks. When a reporter asked why Shapiro made the deal, the Columbus State grad said, “I love me some cheesesteaks so I thought it would be a good deal. Milwaukee gave us 2,000 kegs of beer for CC so this trade was a no brainer.” Ben Francisco was a promising prospect who hit a home run his last game with the team, when asked about this trade, Shapiro said the reasoning was the Ben wasn’t a name for a dude from the Dominican Republic and he figured the Indians could buy more Vagisil for Travis Hafner’s shoulder in doing so. In last place in all of the American League, Shapiro said the bucket of balls will, “turn the season around, and Shin-Soo Choo is loving the cheesesteaks, something different from what Kim Jong-Il fed him in North Korea.” More speculations have came out about the Indians’ next possible move and the heir apparent is Choo to the Seoul Sharks, a cricket team that reportedly makes great yum yum sauce, Luis Valbuena’s favorite. Johnny Peralta looks to be eating more food from Cleveland, as the former shortstop is starting to look like LenDale White, in his “drinkin’ days.” Stay tuned for the latest report from Browns Training Camp where the team is starting to actually play football, something they haven’t done since 1964.
